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Voices that want to be heard

It took me some time to comprehend, to be able to put it in words. I finally do, and I can finally say it: I am not well. Physical health is probably ok, although I am due a general check up. Money could always be better. No, I am talking about my mental health. Things are not ok with my mental health at the moment. And I think it's fair to share this with those around me. Awareness is important. And it's also important that my friends understand what I am going through, even though I am not sure I do.

I have been posting less, taking longer to answer messages and sharing less stories. Things don't give me much pleasure right now, and a lot of times I just want to stay home quiet, watching The Nanny. In that world, I don't need to think about mine. It's comforting, even though I know I am running away. I also know it will catch up to me, and I am ok with this. At least for now.

I have started writing again. Writing is my own way of therapy, it's how I organise my ideas and put things where I can see them. It's how I understand what happened, and where to go from there. But I am also considering professional help.

I like to think that I will be ok, that this is a phase, and it can only get better from here. Better days will come. In the meantime, I will be around. Maybe a bit less than usual. 

For now, all I ask of you all is to bear with me. To excuse me for not being the best version of myself. To keep loving me even when I am not sure I can do it myself. And to give me a hug when you see me. It might seem small, but it means a lot. 

And if you are not feeling great, reach out. To those around you, to your friends, family, partners. Don't go through it alone, because you are not alone, no matter how much it looks like that sometimes. My friends, my family and my partner are showing me that I am not alone. And that makes all the difference.


(This is how I broke the news on instagram. Thought I should register it here as well, as this is a written account of my journey)


Listen To Your Heart - Roxette

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