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Like nothing will change

Chapter two - Present:

January is a strange month where I live. It’s a cold, dark, poor and uneventful period after the holidays, where people realise that their new year’s resolutions are unrealistic, they're desperate for payday and they just want to continue in auto mode until everything really starts kicking in. For me, there’s another layer: it’s my birthday month. And I haven’t enjoyed it for a long time. This year, for the first time since my late 20s, early 30s, things have been different...

I used to love my birthdays back then. Recently, they just made me sad. I can't pinpoint why, but I can think of a few reasons, which are the topic for another day. January 2026 didn’t have any reason to be different. It started with my balls and nipples sore from three new piercings, my guts being unfriendly to basically anything I ate, my haemorrhoids choosing to make a comeback tour, and on top of all that, a week with that nasty cold everyone’s getting. Despite all that, it’s been a lovely month, one I truly enjoyed. I recently discovered that I might be into pain, but that’s also another topic for another day. This new found love for January is about me. And the amazing people I have in my life. 

I have been investing heavily in myself, for a while now. Physically, mentally, financially, socially. I had to make sacrifices, and sometimes I found it hard to trust the process. I thought about giving up. I'm glad I didn't. Because I can see the payoffs now. Besides, I’m also being more selective about those I have around me, investing more time in less people. People who are worth it. It's not a large group, but their quality makes up for any quantity issues I might’ve had in the past.

I know there's a lot more to be done. That the battle doesn't end here, and that I will probably never reach a proper finish line, for as long as I live. But, for now, I want to enjoy this moment. To toast what I have, and to relax a bit, without taking it for granted. As for this new year, I am hoping for good things. It has been a good start so far. I won't make any resolutions or set any goals. I'll try not to have lots of expectations. I want to be surprised.

So cheers, 2026! I hope you will be a good one.


Fade away - Low Roar


(This post is part of a three chapter reflection around the end of 2025 and the beginning of 2026. It is going to be posted on instagram as well, which is one of the reasons I kept it short. All three chapters have songs from the album maybe tomorrow, by Low Roar)

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