Skip to main content

You say goodbye, and I say hello

It's time to say goodbye to the vast majority of you. Not all, as I hope to keep in touch with some people. But I am sure I will probably not see or hear from most of you ever again - well, maybe by coincidence in the street, after all Brighton is a small town. And you know what? I am ok with never seeing each other again. I don't actively dislike these people, we just have nothing in common other than this place. And when this place is no more for me, our only connection will be gone.

It's been an interesting year, where I learned a lot about something completely new to me, for which I had no previous interest. I wouldn't say that my interest is higher now, but I am happy with the knowledge and experience I have. It will be useful to me at some point in the future - even if it's to make small talk with someone. But I also learned a lot about myself. And that's the point that will make all the difference. So I am grateful, even though I haven't been happy here. I leave with a good feeling. I hope I neither closed any doors nor burned any bridges. That's not who I am.

There won't be a lot of time until I'm somewhere new, and this time I am not bringing any expectations with me. I am not looking over the horizon. I won't chase things that are beyond my control. I'll just enjoy the experience, live in the present, and take one day at a time. Of course, I might feel entirely different a month from now, but thinking about it would contradict what I just pledged. Time will tell, and I won't ask now.

I think it's only fair to say thank you to this place. It has been my source, the roof over my head for the last year. Yes, it came as a consequence of my hard work, but it was there nevertheless. And, ultimately, it gave me a chance to go when I wanted, not when I had no other choice. That makes all the difference. I won't miss it, but I acknowledge it's importance and value to my life.


Hello, goodbye - The Beatles

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maybe, this time, I'll be yours, you'll be mine

Soooo... I have a new crush at the gym. And sometimes I think that is reciprocated, and  I think we may be flirting with each other. Huge emphasis on "think". Yes reader, I can hear you screaming, all the way from the other side of your screen: "What the fuck is wrong with you?!? Haven't you learned anything from the whole situation with the boy from the bus stop???" That very same bus stop boy who, by the way, I see basically twice a week, either at the gym or at the bus stop (surprise, surprise!), and who pretends never to have ever met me. I think we should come up with a new word to describe it, because "ignore" is not strong enough to explain his level of indifference. But I digress - although time time, I'm gonna circle back to this, because it matters. New crush is waaaay out of my league - again: surprise, surprise! I think he's into guys, and I think he knows I am into him. After all, surprise, surprise #3, I'm neither renowned for...
Post a Comment
Read more

Just seek and you will find

Anthology - Part V: Coming out is not a standard procedure kind of thing. On the surface, it sounds like this shared experience that every queer person goes through in the same way, and to an extent this is the case. But every coming out is different, because it involves so many variables that it would be mathematically improbable for two queer people to have the exact same set of circumstances. For me, coming out was a unique experience, and it started with myself. The first thing I had to do was to come out to myself. To look at myself in the mirror and say to me: you are gay. You like men. You are different from other males. And that’s ok. Once I came out to myself, I had to come out to everyone else. Maybe “had to” sounds a bit heavy, and I understand that some people might not have that option. Or that they prefer not to share this bit of their lives with some others around them (or whatever it is that they prefer to do through the process, because as I said, it is unique to each ...
Post a Comment
Read more

A tale my thoughts would tell

A few days ago a good friend of mine, who also happens to be very clever and wise, told me about some experiments he had been doing with ChatGPT. This friend happens to be a psychologist, and he's been experimenting with trying to personify the AI bot, discussing his feelings with it and attempting to be analysed by it. He told me that, surprisingly, he got really good results and was impressed with the way it went. He told me I should give it a go, and normally I’d be sceptical of trusting AI with my feelings - despite trusting a blog with it… Yes, I can see the irony. But in this case, I have huge trust and admiration for this friend, so I decided to follow his advice and, well, give it a go. I wasn’t sure where to start, so I input a prompt saying that I thought I had OCD and I would like help trying to understand it. This turned into a good 2 hour long chat with the, where I talked about the various things that I feel, things that happen inside my brain and things I know about ...
Post a Comment
Read more